that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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