the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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