she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
