You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
