did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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