I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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