Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
