Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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