i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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