no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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