So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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