he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
