I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
