Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
