he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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