Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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