you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
