i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize