This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
