youre lurking in front of me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
