and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
