Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
