So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
only if we run a train.
done.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
