FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
