You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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