Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
