She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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