Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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