Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
