Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize