just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize