he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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