he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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