Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
