please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
