My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
