i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
