I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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