Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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