sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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