Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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