Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
