Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize