She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
