Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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