Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
