Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
