And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
