keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
