I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
