All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
