In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
