it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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