K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
