Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
