I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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