he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
