today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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