Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
