So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
