there's paper in my vomit.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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