I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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