It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
